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Author Topic: JUST JOKES!  (Read 1655 times)

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Offline wj957

Re: JUST JOKES!
« Reply #15 on: Oct 16, 2021, 10:22:19 AM »
I was down the park the other day and a young blonde told me I was a 'bit of a looker'.

I think "voyeur" is the word she used.
Prisoner of HERR Pala-CHOOK!
 

Offline wj957

Re: JUST JOKES!
« Reply #16 on: Oct 17, 2021, 04:03:17 PM »
YOU CAN'T TEACH AN OLD PIG, NEW TRICKS

I have lived and worked alone for the best part of 20 years, with minimal social interaction.
As the years and my reflux have progressed, I've developed a volumes' belching problem.

On a camping trip over the past week with my brother, he began coaching me on the etiquette of a silent burp.

On our way home we stopped for coffee and lunch. Sitting at the table I felt the rising from within and managed a very subdued, almost silent burp.

As James turned to commend my new found manners, I leant a little to the left, raising my right cheek,
and FARTED!
Prisoner of HERR Pala-CHOOK!
 

Offline OldMucks

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Re: JUST JOKES!
« Reply #17 on: Oct 19, 2021, 10:53:41 AM »


 
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Offline Steve I

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Re: JUST JOKES!
« Reply #18 on: Oct 29, 2021, 04:28:46 PM »
I was stopped by the police, around 2am this morning.
The officer asked, where am I going at this time of the morning.
I replied "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as the dangers of smoking and staying out late".
The officer replied, "Oh Really" and who is giving that lecture, at this time of night ?

My wife  :laughing7:

Steve

 
 
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Offline Ray68

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Re: JUST JOKES!
« Reply #19 on: Oct 31, 2021, 07:07:59 AM »
 
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Offline Luigi

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Re: JUST JOKES!
« Reply #20 on: Oct 31, 2021, 07:51:21 AM »



2017 LS-U DMax spacecab. Manual, Ally tray back, Ally canopy, stock wheels, Ironman suspension and B/Bar. Safari snorkel and ProVent 200.
 
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Offline yvesjv

Re: JUST JOKES!
« Reply #21 on: Nov 20, 2021, 06:15:04 PM »
The CIA needed someone to infiltrate and assassinate a foreign leader.
They chose three candidates for the job.
To test them they told them that their spouse was in the next room, gave them a gun with an order to shoot them.
First one went into the room and came out failing to shoot his wife. He said that he would not do that he loved his wife.
It was the same with the second one. He came out with tears in his eyes saying that he couldn’t pull the trigger.
The third was a female agent Who took the gun into the room where her husband sat.
After a gunshot there were a lot of loud violent sounds in the room. When she came out she said the gun was loaded with blanks so she had to beat him to death with a chair.
 

Offline yvesjv

Re: JUST JOKES!
« Reply #22 on: Nov 20, 2021, 06:23:56 PM »
An old couple are celebrating 75 years of marriage:

At the party one of the grandkids asks the Grandma what is the secret to such a long happy marriage as they never seem to argue or disagree about anything. The grandma tells them a story of when they first got married.

"It was our wedding day and we were very poor so we were heading to our honeymoon on our donkey and cart. We were about an hour into the journey when the donkey just lay down and wouldn't budge.
My new husband said to the donkey "That's one". After a few minutes the donkey got up and started going again. After another little while the donkey again sat down and wouldn't move and my husband said "that's two".
Again eventually the donkey got up and we were on our way. Then eventually the donkey stopped and wouldn't go any further and without a word my husband got down and shot the donkey in the head and said "that's three. ".
I was so shocked, I started screaming at my husband"what did you do that for, are you crazy that's terrible".
My husband turned to me and he said "that's one".

 

 

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